1 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:09,460 It's Pancake Day, yes it's Pancake Day, yes it's P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P 2 00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:10,300 -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P 3 00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:14,840 -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P 4 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:15,280 -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,200 -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:25,000 -P - 7 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:33,600 to add a little flour and then you beat it up with a wooden spoon and leave it 8 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:38,180 to settle for just one hour because it's Pancake Day, yes it's Pancake Day, yes 9 00:00:38,180 --> 00:00:42,400 it's P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P 10 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,600 -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P 11 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,480 -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P 12 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:49,900 -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P -P Yeah, the living ain't so funny. 13 00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:54,840 They make their pay like dirty old mud because they ain't got no flipping 14 00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:59,640 Their smiles are white because the tears they hide even though their life is 15 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:03,820 hell. But the smile's not the fool when the sheriff comes to call and he brings 16 00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:04,959 King John as well. 17 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,880 What are those filthy peasants doing with that disgusting slop? 18 00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:25,560 I think it's pancake day. Yes, it's pancake day. It must be pa -pa -pa -pa 19 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:26,720 -pa -pa -pa -pancake day. 20 00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:30,680 Well, you'd better get us a frying pan then, hadn't you? 21 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,400 Certainly, sire. Anything you say, sire. One frying pan. Coming up, sire. 22 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,460 You scum! Over here, please. Hurry up. 23 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,520 Ah, stinker. 24 00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:46,240 Today is your lucky day. You know who this is, don't you? Well, today... 25 00:01:47,630 --> 00:01:48,488 Know what? 26 00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:49,950 No, I don't know who it is. 27 00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:51,550 Don't be ridiculous. Of course you do. 28 00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:54,430 Today, he's going to give Stinker the privilege... Who is he, then? 29 00:01:55,370 --> 00:01:56,370 Who is who? 30 00:01:56,870 --> 00:01:58,330 Him. Him is the king! 31 00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:01,150 Which king would that be, then? Stephen King? 32 00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:03,410 King is my first name! 33 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,270 Oh, King Kong! 34 00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:07,610 No! King John! 35 00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:10,889 Who's he, then? The king! The king! 36 00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:12,130 The flipping king! 37 00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:15,770 The one who does the speech on Christmas Day and chops people's heads off! 38 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,160 Ah, that's William the Conqueror. He's king. 39 00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:22,760 My dear stinker, William the Conqueror is a nasty king who is dead at the 40 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:27,460 doormat. This one here is a nice king who is after your frying pan. Get it? 41 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000 Oh. 42 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,480 Got it. 43 00:02:30,580 --> 00:02:31,580 Good. 44 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,520 There you are, sir. Mission accomplished. 45 00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:39,160 They didn't know who I was. 46 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:44,440 Do you like plain or jam, sire, or are you really naughty like me and have 47 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,360 delight with chocolate spread and peanut butter? 48 00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:49,800 They didn't know who I was! 49 00:02:50,220 --> 00:02:52,340 Who, them? Those turnip heads? 50 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,760 They don't know who anyone is. 51 00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:55,640 But they are my subjects! 52 00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:58,920 Why don't they know who I am? 53 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,220 Because they're stupid! 54 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,660 If you gave them a cannonball on a plate, they'd think it was a new kind of 55 00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:05,420 Christmas pudding. Forget about it. 56 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,760 Let's go home and tuck into those pancakes. 57 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,160 You're not tucking into those pancakes. 58 00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:14,520 You're not tucking into anything until they know who I am. Understand? 59 00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:20,320 Not one morsel of food will pass your lips until I'm famous. 60 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:21,520 Ha! 61 00:03:21,860 --> 00:03:24,440 Sir? Anything you say, sir? 62 00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:26,840 Who am I? 63 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,100 A big, fat knight. 64 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,020 We're going to leap out on you and steal all your gold. 65 00:03:34,460 --> 00:03:35,660 Right. Are you ready? 66 00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:37,360 Yo! Yes! 67 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:38,820 Yo! Yes! 68 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:20,339 concentrate because we didn't have any breakfast. 69 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:21,899 I beg your pardon? 70 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,220 Well, we didn't have very much. 71 00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:25,900 Rabies, how many pancakes did you have? 72 00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:27,880 Uh, that many. 73 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:29,460 And how many's that? 74 00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:32,140 One, two. 75 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:37,840 You had 16 each, king -sized ones. And you only stopped because it was my turn 76 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:41,820 to toss them and I said I wouldn't until you'd done an honest day's robbing. And 77 00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:43,960 because you're the only one who doesn't know how to make them. 78 00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:48,180 Yes, and because... What are you talking about? I know how to make pancakes. 79 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,420 I'd have got my pancake proficiency badge if my brownie pack hadn't been 80 00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:53,460 down for armed robbery. 81 00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:55,180 Go on, then. Go on what? 82 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,660 Go on and toss some pancakes. 83 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,060 What's the magic word? 84 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,500 Abracadabra. The magic word is please, Rabies. 85 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,200 And yes, I will toss you some pancakes, provided... Wow! 86 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,220 Provided you don't come back till you've leapt on a knight and taken all his 87 00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:14,220 gold. Understand? 88 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,380 Yeah. Go on, then. 89 00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:21,270 And you're supposed to be gorillas. For goodness sake, wear some camouflage. 90 00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:28,410 If they're not on the table in 20 seconds, I'll cover you in batter and 91 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:31,050 you up as a spring roll! 92 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:35,670 Come in, Your Majesty. Anything you say, Your Majesty. 93 00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:39,530 I hope they get stuck in your throat and give you food poisoning, Your Majesty. 94 00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:43,630 Please, sir, can I have my frying pan back? Not now, stinker. I'm busy. 95 00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:53,250 I've ordered, sire. By the way, sire, I have had a brilliant idea. May I? 96 00:05:53,510 --> 00:05:55,470 What brilliant idea? 97 00:05:56,230 --> 00:06:01,530 Well, you want everyone to remember you, right? So invent something. 98 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:03,430 Why do we remember Noah? 99 00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:05,790 Because he invented the ark. Who invented the screw? 100 00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:10,510 Archimedes. Adam invented the apple. Catherine invented the wheel. So we 101 00:06:10,510 --> 00:06:11,510 remember them. 102 00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:13,430 No problem, really, sire, any time you want me. 103 00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:14,730 Well, go on, then. 104 00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:17,090 Sorry? Invent something. 105 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:21,140 Me invent something? Oh, I'm not an inventor, sir. I'm a sheriff. Look, 106 00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:21,739 my badge. 107 00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:22,740 Would you like a pancake? 108 00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:23,979 Yes, please, sir. 109 00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:25,340 Then invent something! 110 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,580 Invent something. Right, invent something. 111 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:34,220 Right, I'll invent the automatic foot. What for? 112 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:35,959 What for? 113 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,460 Well, it's got to be for something, hasn't it? 114 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:40,460 For something, yes, yes. For something. 115 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,240 I've got it! I've got it! 116 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,760 I'll invent a parachute. 117 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:45,999 A what? 118 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,840 A parachute, so that when you're flying along, you can jump out and you won't 119 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,220 hurt yourself. Flying along in what? 120 00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:56,160 I don't know. They haven't invented anything yet, have they? No, they 121 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,740 you stupid little weasel. 122 00:06:58,380 --> 00:07:00,040 Now pass me the sugar. 123 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,300 Certainly, sire. 124 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,260 Invent something right away, sire. 125 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,880 It's dropped into my pocket, cretin. 126 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:09,620 Oh, sire, I'm most terribly... 127 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,170 That's what I'll invent. 128 00:07:17,290 --> 00:07:22,850 I'll have pockets all round the table and we'll shove sugar bowls in them. No, 129 00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:23,849 no, no, balls. 130 00:07:23,850 --> 00:07:24,850 Lots of balls. 131 00:07:24,910 --> 00:07:29,970 And we'll have little sticks to prod them with and we'll have chalk on the 132 00:07:29,970 --> 00:07:35,670 to stop them slipping and it'll be a game. A wonderful, marvellous new game. 133 00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:37,230 we'll call it John. 134 00:07:38,430 --> 00:07:39,990 Gary! Graham! 135 00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:44,450 Hello. Go straight. 136 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:48,860 to the ball makers in Lincoln. I've got a really big order for them. 137 00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:58,560 Mine's got a little teddy bear head on it. Oh, I've never seen one like that. 138 00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:02,980 Mine's got a knitted cover shaped like a tortoise. Oh, doesn't it shrink when it 139 00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:03,899 gets wet? No. 140 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,900 Oh! 141 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,360 Hello. Look, it's the Morris men. 142 00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:09,660 No, it isn't. Isn't it? 143 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:10,960 Oh. 144 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:15,300 You're not beautiful princesses who've been bewitched by an evil wizard and 145 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:18,500 turned into plum trees, are you? Leave it out, we're gorillas. 146 00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:20,880 What? Green gorillas? 147 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,800 We're merry men and we're going to jump out and rob you. 148 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,300 Now, what have you got? 149 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,560 Two long sticks and a wooden triangle. 150 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,380 And 22 coloured balls. 151 00:08:32,039 --> 00:08:33,039 Any gold? 152 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:38,260 No, 15 red, a yellow, a green, a brown, a blue, a pink, a black and a white. 153 00:08:38,669 --> 00:08:43,110 Well, nothing else at all. No money, no candlesticks, no gold plates, nothing 154 00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:43,789 like that. 155 00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:48,750 No, nothing like that. Oh, we've got a little square of chalk with a dent in 156 00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:50,930 No, that really won't do. 157 00:08:51,550 --> 00:08:53,130 Oh, well, thanks anyway. Bye. 158 00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:54,630 Bye. Bye. 159 00:09:00,050 --> 00:09:02,390 You are Morris men, really, aren't you? 160 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,490 They thought we were Morris men. 161 00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:07,330 I hate Morris men. 162 00:09:07,690 --> 00:09:11,550 Yeah, they're like clowns without the funny bits. I told her we need a 163 00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:14,550 How will people know we're the merry men if we haven't got a uniform? 164 00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:17,330 Well, I'll show her. 165 00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:23,950 And they jumped out at us and said they wanted all our gold. Who did? The Morris 166 00:09:23,950 --> 00:09:26,690 men. Morris men, I don't believe you. 167 00:09:26,950 --> 00:09:29,810 Did they wave little white hankies around in the air like this? 168 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:34,100 No. And was there one extremely amusing one who hit everybody over the head with 169 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:35,260 inflatable pig's bladder? 170 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,460 No. Then they weren't real Morris men. 171 00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:39,599 How do you know? 172 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,940 Because Morris dancing is in my blood. 173 00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:45,920 It takes a very special sort of person to be a Morris man, and I'm one. 174 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,260 I only gave it up because my bladder burst. Nothing happened! 175 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:50,800 Is that you? 176 00:09:51,260 --> 00:09:52,280 Coming, Your Majesty! 177 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:54,080 Well, at least you got the stuff. 178 00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,060 About time, too. I'm starving. 179 00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:58,180 Please, sir, can I have my pan back? 180 00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,440 Nope. 181 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:06,180 Your problems are over, my lord. In this bag is John, the game that'll take the 182 00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:07,300 country by storm. 183 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:12,200 John Halls will sprout up in every town and village. There'll be national John 184 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,640 championships, international John championships. 185 00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:20,420 John players will punch the ref and make the front of the newspapers. Your name 186 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:24,880 will echo down the centuries as the inventor of this brilliantly 187 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:28,020 game. You two, over there and open your pockets. 188 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:33,750 play John. 189 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,470 First of all, I place the ball on the table. 190 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,030 Sorry. 191 00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:47,110 I place the ball on the... I place the ball on the... 192 00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:53,070 Can we have another table, please? 193 00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:55,790 So that's it, is it? 194 00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:59,670 That's your brilliantly entertaining game of John that's going to make me 195 00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:04,020 famous? Who would... Would you like a game of John? Oh, yes, please. How do 196 00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:07,140 play? Well, you get a sack of balls and you tip them up all over the floor. 197 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,160 I've had more entertaining mornings at the dentist. 198 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:11,720 Are you hungry? 199 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,080 Well, yes, sir, I must confess. Well, not for much longer. 200 00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:17,460 You're going to eat every one of these, starting with this one. 201 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,820 I don't like greens, Your Majesty. 202 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,580 Open your mouth, Nottingham. You're going to have a ball. 203 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,280 You could put a tablecloth on. And to stop the balls rolling off, you could 204 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,660 stick cushions round the sides. 205 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,200 Stick? Cushions round the sides? 206 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,420 Yes, yes, you're right. Brilliant. A masterstroke. Cushions. I'll get them 207 00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:37,500 up in Lincoln right away. All the same colour. Very tasteful. You'll love them. 208 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,540 Come on, men. We've got work to do. 209 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:44,100 This time I'm coming with you. I don't want you handing over our cushions to a 210 00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,560 bunch of pony Morris dancers. 211 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:50,200 And, Stinker, if you ask me for your pan back once more, I will hang you from 212 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:54,000 the wall, divide you into 20 sections and use you as a dartboard. 213 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:55,460 Don't argue! 214 00:11:57,119 --> 00:11:58,960 My name's not Stinker. 215 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:04,080 Now, once they get cold, they're really disgusting, aren't they? Yeah. 216 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:08,720 They lie there all floppy and blubbery, and they wobble when you poke them. Will 217 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:12,160 you two stop waffling? Waffle, waffle, waffle. That's all you ever do. Sorry, 218 00:12:12,220 --> 00:12:13,220 Sheriff. 219 00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:15,920 They're jolly cosy when they're off, aren't they? Shut up! 220 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:17,240 Yes, Sheriff. 221 00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:22,450 And in the morning you say you'll never have another one, but you always do. 222 00:12:22,670 --> 00:12:26,690 Will you two stop going on about your stupid hot water bottles? That's all you 223 00:12:26,690 --> 00:12:27,690 ever talk about. 224 00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:31,630 Now we're in the middle of a forest ridden with unseen danger. Anything 225 00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:36,170 jump out on us. Mad axemen, werewolves, lunatics. Your money or your life? 226 00:12:36,650 --> 00:12:38,530 Idiots in skirts and berets. 227 00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:41,970 I said your money or your life. Are you mad? 228 00:12:42,450 --> 00:12:44,070 Are you completely mad? 229 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:49,400 I am the sheriff of Nottingham. I do happen to be surrounded by two burly 230 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:53,200 who both have GCSE in killing, maiming and chewing people's heads off. 231 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:55,680 How do you propose to take my life? 232 00:12:55,960 --> 00:13:00,420 By dressing up in false beards and glasses so I laugh myself to death? By 233 00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:04,640 playing the bagpipe so badly I throw myself off a cliff in order to escape 234 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:08,440 noise? No, we're going to fight you. Are we? Yes, we are. 235 00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,200 You think I'm frightened of you? 236 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,980 The sheriff of Nottingham is frightened of nobody. 237 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,160 Morning. 238 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,800 It's Robin Hood, the fiercest bandit in England. Do exactly as he says or we're 239 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,280 doomed. Terribly sorry. Did I make you jump? 240 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,360 No, no, no, no. I just trotted on a hedgehog. 241 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,800 Say hello, boys. Interesting who it is. 242 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,080 Well, what do you think of our outfits? 243 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,640 Pretty stylish, eh? Oh, yes, yes, very. 244 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,340 Gave you a bit of a fright, didn't they? 245 00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:39,660 I've never seen anything so frightful in my life. 246 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:40,880 Aren't they smashing? 247 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,620 Oh, could I have your gold, please? 248 00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:44,860 My gold? 249 00:13:45,319 --> 00:13:48,960 Uh, I haven't got any. Here, he's got a gold tooth. You can pull that out. 250 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,200 Most kind, sir. 251 00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:53,240 Sorry about the hold -up, but the problem is we're, you know, starving. 252 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,359 So am I. 253 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,040 We've hardly had any breakfast, you see. 254 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:57,440 Neither have I. 255 00:13:57,460 --> 00:13:58,460 Haven't you? 256 00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:00,320 Oh, well, come and eat at our place, then. 257 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:01,800 Chez nous. 258 00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:03,180 That's the sheriff of Nottingham. 259 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:04,299 I know. 260 00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:05,300 A deadly enemy. 261 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,900 No, he just wants to be friends, don't you? 262 00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:10,460 Guess what we've got to eat. 263 00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:11,920 Uh, venison? 264 00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:13,580 Rabbit? 265 00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:15,790 Hey, Corn Porridge, you'll never guess, will you? 266 00:14:16,370 --> 00:14:17,370 I'll tell you what. 267 00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:20,270 Hands over your eyes, then it'll be a surprise. Come on. 268 00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:26,350 You're peeking, aren't you? I can see. Come on, tie something round Mr 269 00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,350 Cheapbox's people. 270 00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:34,430 This is fun, isn't it? 271 00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:37,730 As soon as we get back, I'm going to take off this stupid costume. 272 00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:39,790 Me too. It makes me look like an idiot. 273 00:14:40,070 --> 00:14:41,070 You are an idiot. 274 00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:42,350 Oh, yeah. 275 00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:43,820 Right. Follow me. 276 00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:47,000 Won't Marion be surprised when she sees who we've brought home? 277 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,100 What a life. 278 00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:54,260 What a wonderful life. 279 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,940 Breakfast in the open air, the birds singing. 280 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,240 Where is it? 281 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:02,720 Where's the sugar bowl? 282 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:08,780 Every time my back's turned. If that sugar bowl isn't back in my hands in 283 00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:10,140 seconds, there'll be trouble. 284 00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:11,940 One. 285 00:15:14,329 --> 00:15:16,210 Flipping squirrels. And the spoon. 286 00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:18,170 Thank you. 287 00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:20,870 That's everything, I think. 288 00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:25,290 Let's hope they're back before the pancakes get cold. Cooey, we're home. 289 00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:30,670 Oh, good, because I was just... Robin, what is that ridiculous costume? 290 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,470 Do you like it? Look, I hope you don't mind, but I've brought a friend back. 291 00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:36,130 Who? Guess. 292 00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:39,850 Oh, I don't know. The Archbishop of Canterbury? No. Try again. 293 00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:41,150 King of England? 294 00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:42,270 No, but you're warm. 295 00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:49,260 What? You haven't. Oh, Robin, you haven't brought back... I know that 296 00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:51,800 You have. Well done, Robin. 297 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,140 It's pancakes, isn't it? 298 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,740 What a lovely surprise. 299 00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:58,180 May I help myself? 300 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,820 Oh, that's good. That's really good. 301 00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:03,780 All right, explain. 302 00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:05,300 He was hungry. 303 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,340 Robin, killer whales get hungry. 304 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:11,200 Man -eating piranha fish have been known to get a bit peckish. But you don't 305 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,400 have to invite them to breakfast. 306 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,040 Now he knows where we live, he'll have King John's entire army here by morning. 307 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,600 Except he doesn't know where we live. 308 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,420 What? I blindfolded him. Did you? 309 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,300 Did you? 310 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,720 Little Ron, you're a genius. 311 00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:28,340 Your brains are so big, I'm surprised they don't leak out of your ears. 312 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:32,280 Now, take off your clown's costumes and we'll think of a plan. They're not 313 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,880 clown's costumes. They're our uniforms. When people see us in these, they'll be 314 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,500 terrified. They'll run away screaming. 315 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,020 Yeah, with laughter. 316 00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:42,220 I couldn't trouble you for some lemon barley, could I? 317 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:46,350 That's what I find really galling. Old Buffy Boots getting a free meal. 318 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,410 Wait a minute. Did you tell him it was free? 319 00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:52,330 What? The meal. Did you tell him it was free? 320 00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:59,490 Well, not in so many words, but... Did you enjoy your meal, sir? 321 00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:00,770 It was excellent. 322 00:17:00,830 --> 00:17:03,270 Just what the doctor ordered. And can I get you anything else? 323 00:17:03,950 --> 00:17:05,849 Just a lemon barley. Apart from that, I'm fine. 324 00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,329 Good. Well, there you are, then. 325 00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:10,529 What's this? 326 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,530 The bill. 327 00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:13,609 What? The bill, sir. 328 00:17:14,710 --> 00:17:17,550 £142 .88p. I'm not paying that. 329 00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:21,109 Oh, dear. Well, perhaps I should get the manager, then. Yes. 330 00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:24,849 Yes, I would. Bring him here. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. Robin, 331 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,250 could you come over here, please? 332 00:17:26,869 --> 00:17:30,610 Robin? Yes, Robin Hood. That hot -tempered fighter. 333 00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:32,130 That deadly shot. 334 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:35,610 He doesn't like people who don't pay their bills. 335 00:17:35,890 --> 00:17:36,890 Any problem? 336 00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:40,470 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no problem at all. 337 00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:48,050 I haven't got any actual money on me at the moment, but I'm sure we can sort out 338 00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:50,690 this little bit of silliness without any fuss. 339 00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:52,310 Can I open my eyes now? 340 00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:57,530 No, you can open your mouth. In here, there is a gold tooth whose approximate 341 00:17:57,530 --> 00:18:04,310 value is, I would say at a rough guess, about £142 .88p. So if 342 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:06,290 you want to just pull it out... That! 343 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:10,230 I'm not touching that. It's all slimy and covered in dribble. 344 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,580 Anyway, it's your bill, not his. 345 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,540 What's in those bags? 346 00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,400 What bags? I haven't got any bags. 347 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:17,659 Those bags. 348 00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:22,540 Oh, these bags. Oh, there's nothing in here except yards and yards of horrid, 349 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,820 nasty material. You wouldn't want that. 350 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:25,979 Is that all? 351 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,580 Pretty colour, isn't it? 352 00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:34,120 Yes, it is, isn't it, Robin? A very pretty colour. And it coordinates with 353 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:35,120 trees, doesn't it? 354 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,180 No one would be able to see us when we were hiding, would they? 355 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:43,200 I think I've just had a good idea, haven't I? You certainly have, Robin. 356 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,900 Barrington, I want a huge pair of scissors, three needles and 100 metres 357 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:49,900 green cotton. 358 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:55,260 The sheriff is going to pay for his meal by knocking us up a few uniforms. 359 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:56,800 But you can't have that stuff. 360 00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,260 It belongs to King John. 361 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,380 You wouldn't want me to set my manager on you, would you? 362 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:03,960 Open your eyes, men. 363 00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:52,740 Pretty fantastic, eh? 364 00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:54,180 What do you think? 365 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,440 Marvellous. Absolutely mega fab. 366 00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,720 So, uh, we can go home? 367 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,120 Yes. 368 00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:05,740 There you are. 369 00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:09,620 I saved you from certain death at the hands of Robin Hood. Thank you very 370 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,680 sire. Now can you save us from certain death at the hands of King John? What? 371 00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:15,680 Yeah, well, when he finds out we've cut his things into little pieces... He'll 372 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,440 do the same to us. Yeah, but I see what you mean. 373 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,200 Wait a minute. 374 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,750 That... A peasant stinker. The one who's always going on about his stupid frying 375 00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:24,270 pan. Quiet, quiet. I'm thinking. 376 00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:27,250 When we get back to the castle, bring him to me. 377 00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:30,310 I may have a use for him. 378 00:20:31,350 --> 00:20:32,670 Stolen! Yes. 379 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:33,970 All gone, sire. 380 00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:37,870 We put up a good fight, but Robin Hood is the greatest archer in all England. 381 00:20:37,910 --> 00:20:41,570 There was nothing we could do. Then you still haven't made my brilliantly 382 00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:42,650 entertaining game. 383 00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:43,689 No, sire. 384 00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,310 And I'm still not famous. 385 00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:47,330 It would seem that way, sire. 386 00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:50,830 Then you know what happens next, don't you? I fear I do, sire. 387 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:55,490 I'm stuffed with bean sprout, fried and sold in a Chinese takeaway. 388 00:20:56,390 --> 00:20:57,950 Bring in the bean sprouts. 389 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:03,970 Goodbye, my lord. 390 00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:09,310 I served you to the best of my ability, but tragically, my best was not good 391 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,330 enough. Wait a minute. 392 00:21:10,690 --> 00:21:11,750 I know you. 393 00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:13,129 Who, me? 394 00:21:13,130 --> 00:21:15,010 Yeah, you're that bloke on... 395 00:21:15,930 --> 00:21:19,530 No, don't tell me I know it. On, on the throne. 396 00:21:20,190 --> 00:21:21,230 That's it, isn't it? 397 00:21:21,510 --> 00:21:24,590 Well, yes, I... You're the king, aren't you? 398 00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:26,830 Well, I... I've always wanted to meet the king. 399 00:21:27,190 --> 00:21:28,189 Hang on. 400 00:21:28,190 --> 00:21:30,750 You don't mind, do you? This is terribly exciting. 401 00:21:31,570 --> 00:21:32,930 Molly! Denise! 402 00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:34,490 Come here a minute. 403 00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:36,270 There's somebody here I wanted to meet. 404 00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:38,570 They've got the king in here. 405 00:21:39,390 --> 00:21:43,550 It looks as though we might have been wrong, doesn't it, sir? Yes, it does, 406 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:44,670 doesn't it? 407 00:21:46,190 --> 00:21:47,830 May I have your autograph, please, sir? 408 00:21:48,070 --> 00:21:49,070 My autograph? 409 00:21:49,410 --> 00:21:50,530 Why, certainly. 410 00:21:51,450 --> 00:21:56,150 In fact, I tell you what, I'll get the court painter to paint you all up little 411 00:21:56,150 --> 00:22:00,190 pictures of me, if you like, and then you can take them home and you can pin 412 00:22:00,190 --> 00:22:01,650 them up on your bedroom walls. 413 00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:03,410 This way, everybody. 414 00:22:06,670 --> 00:22:07,670 Well, 415 00:22:11,710 --> 00:22:16,530 let's put a... smiled back on the old toad's face, hasn't it? That should keep 416 00:22:16,530 --> 00:22:20,210 me in his good books for a bit. Well done, stinker. You can have your frying 417 00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:22,230 back. But what about the rewards? 418 00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:26,090 You said if I got them all here and the plan worked, you'd give me something to 419 00:22:26,090 --> 00:22:27,250 make me rich and famous. 420 00:22:27,470 --> 00:22:30,270 And I will, stinker, I will. Here you are. 421 00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:35,130 Twenty -two balls, two dicks, a wooden triangle, a piece of chalk, and a few 422 00:22:35,130 --> 00:22:36,150 bits of green cloth. 423 00:22:36,410 --> 00:22:37,510 It's a game. 424 00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:39,490 A brilliant new game. 425 00:22:39,690 --> 00:22:41,230 You can call it stinker if you like. 426 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,220 It'll make you rich and famous. 427 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,860 Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you very much. 428 00:22:46,180 --> 00:22:47,180 Goodbye, sir. 429 00:22:48,340 --> 00:22:54,240 What a moron. What an absolute pumpkinhead. 430 00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:59,400 As if anyone can make a fortune out of that totally useless, rubbishy old game. 431 00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:01,980 I don't think Stinker's name's going to go down in history. 432 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,400 Actually, sir, his name isn't Stinker, isn't it? 433 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:05,840 No, it's Snooker. 434 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,400 Snooker? 435 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,260 Well, no -one's going to make me money out of a game called Snooker, are they? 436 00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:25,020 Marion, why don't you carry on with the water?